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Author(s): Gill Gorell Barnes Series: Basic texts in counselling and psychotherapy Publisher: Palgrave Macmillan, Year: 2004 ISBN: 1403904723,9781403904720

C ONTENTS Acknowledgements ix 1 What is Family Therapy? Patterns of Living, Patterns of Mind and Patterns of Therapy 1 The systemic approach 2 Families in transition 4 Stressful life events and family life: patterns of stress and patterns of affirmation 5 Patterns and problems over time: changing constraints and developing new solutions 7 Historical and current dimensions 8 Family systems, transitions and non-biologically connected families: implications for a family therapist 9 Rethinking family bonds: diversity, intimacy and identity 11 How do cultural values underpin family life? 12 Culture, gender and development 13 What is the job of the family therapist? 13 Listening to families and to the the family in individual stories: internal and external discourses 14 The family as the template for intimate relations: three ways of looking at what goes on 16 Summary 19 2 Changes in Families: Theories in Change 21 Systems thinking, family pattern, family coherence, and dominant discourses 21 The Xavier family 24 The therapist’s thinking 30 Influences from structural family therapy in the Xavier family session 31 The Riordan family 33 The Milan approach 37 Moving forward with theory 40 C ONT ENT S vi 3 Culture, Diversity and Developments (1): Rethinking Contexts for Growth and Change 47 The family and life cycle ideas: a pluralistic approach 47 Multiculturalism and diversity 49 Gay and lesbian families: diversity and homophobia 50 Culture and changing micropractices: keeping up with change 51 Ethnicity, culture, migration and family change 54 Refugees and family work 56 Creating conditions of safety 57 Changing gender roles for men and women 60 Racism in daily life, and in the therapeutic context 62 Gay and lesbian families: similarities and differences in life cycle issues 64 Life cycle rituals: new constructions 66 Poverty and stresses 68 Factors that buffer individuals against stress 70 Intimacy and resilience 72 Summary 73 4 Culture, Diversity and Development (2): Loss and Transitions in Childhood 74 Communication and loss 76 Variations in childcare patterns and the loss of intimacy 80 Loss and adaptation 81 The importance of a safe place: former loss and current parenting 84 Transitions and second families 87 Adoption 87 Young adults who have grown up in second families 91 Theories of child development 92 5 Families, Divorce and Post-Divorce Family Work: Mothers’, Fathers’ and Children’s Perspectives 94 Keeping life predictable and maintaining self-esteem 96 Ambiguities in post-divorce relationships: 98 Residence and contact: parents and children in the post-divorce family 99 Acrimony and hostility 99 Parenting alone 103 Fathers; parenting in the context of ‘contact’ 105 Secrets and silence in post-divorce narratives 110 C ONT ENT S vii ‘Holding on to the bubble’ – uncertainty about arrangements 114 Bearing the family in mind 116 Separation when children are very young 117 The Juniper/Rowan family: early separation, attachment issues, and the restoration of contact 119 Summary 127 6 Step-Families 128 What is a step-family? 128 Boys’ and girls’ ways of dealing with family distress: similarities and differences 131 Lesbian and gay partnerships 133 The extended family 135 Economic tensions 138 Stepmothers and mothers: trying to get it right 139 Stepfathers and fathers 142 7 The Family and Mental Illness 147 Cultural and family factors affecting descriptions of illness 147 Professional approaches to family work with major mental illness 150 Work focusing on patterns of communication 151 Family descriptions and self-description 153 Family relationships and different illness processes 155 Mental illness and external realities: social factors 163 Children of chronically ill parents: protective factors and ‘being alright’ 165 Dementia in the elderly 167 8 Violence in Family Life 169 The ‘carry forward’ of patterns 171 The Wade family 172 The O’Rourke family 180 The use of language 180 Post-divorce issues 183 Family violence and traumatic effects on children 184 9 Sexual Abuse in Childhood and Some Effects in Adult Life 190 Boundaries of trust in therapeutic work 190 Therapy with a man: some considerations 192 The therapist as another woman 194 C ONT ENT S viii Traumatic, formless and perverse events 195 Early work in therapy: the written word 195 Confronting the voices of others in therapy: parents and children 197 Maeve: using workmates and children to create alternative voices 199 Talking with children about sexual abuse 202 10 Doing the work and making a difference 205 Study your own coherence 205 A theory you can live and work by 205 Attention to text 206 The wider world and family life 207 Attention to the fragility of relationships 209 Keeping an eye on oneself 210 The family as template for intimate emotions 210 What do we mean by resilience? 211 References 212 Index 226

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